Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

Oh Mercy

Generosity.  Reluctantly, I will admit that I have rarely given to causes that mean something to me. -- Later.  When I have the time.  When I have enough money to give something meaningful.  But, I really want those shoes, and world peace isn't likely to happen anyway. -- Despite a deficit in Karma credits, the generosity heaped on me in the past year is astounding.  People have found ways to be generous with their time, financially, professionally, and with their hearts.  Gestures others may have called small have carried me thousands of emotional miles.  I am forever changed by the generosity others have shown me.

Part of this change is that I am now giving more, even when my gesture feels embarrassingly humble.  I am beginning to identify organizations that our family will support and follow, organizations that allow us to give back to Antonia's birth land.  Mercy Ships is one such organization.  Mercy Ships provides health care to people throughout Africa.  They have been doing it a while, seem to have weathered a few storms. 

Here is there website: http://www.mercyships.org/

For just this week, if you buy a shirt from Sevenly, a bunch of the proceeds go to Mercy Ships: http://www.sevenly.org/

 

 

In Our Dreams

Dreams are such revealing repositories for things we feel, know, wonder, and love.  My baby has securely moved into my dream world.  I have dreamed of holding her and hugging her.  I even dreamed that I was hugging her wrong.  I think she's her current size in my dreams, though I have no way of knowing.  My dreams of her are just lots of hugging.

Charles too dreams of her.  Last night he dreamed that we were on a road trip.  He was taking us to see parts of the US that he loves, that have been a big part of his life.  He said we were camping and she loved it.  She was four or five years old in his dream.

I wish I had a bigger update than her presence in our dream states.  For now, that's as close as we get to her.

My Mother

We have been waiting a while for this baby now.  So long that those first few weeks of "Oh my God, this is real, she is real," feel like foggy, distant memories.  In real time, it was less than six months ago.

I always knew that my family supports adoption.  I have the kind of family in which you grow up thinking that you are as likely to adopt as you are to birth a child.  So I had no worries that my adoption would be met with fears and judgment over adoption itself.  But when my mom cried tears of joy, when she sounded so proud, I was not prepared for that.  She already loved this baby and this choice, it was like she had all along.  I believe Antonia, with her history, her background, her beautiful face, is the exact granddaughter my mother was waiting for.  It is humbling and feels so incredibly good.

Waiting, though, is not something my mother does well.  I assume that the people reading this know us.  But, if you don't, my mother is a 5 foot tall Portuguese-American woman.  And, she is ready to create an international incident.  I won't quote her, because I rather not visit my mother in jail.  Let's just say, it's a good thing she was raised on a farm, on an island, not in Washington where she might "know people."  She believes that we're at the point where military action, or other less government sanctioned methods, should be used to bring Antonia home.  She is right.  Thankfully, she is also incapable of orchestrating an international incident.  Or crime.  I think.

A Piece of Our Story

I think a lot about how to explain our story to my daughter.  I see adoption as something our world needs.  And it needs it to work well.  Sometimes there are parents who cannot raise the children they birthed.  It is up to us, the rest of the world, to make sure these children are raised well and surrounded by love.  But how do you explain this to a young child?

I read something by an adoptive mom that very much fits with my beliefs.  She said she tells her children that parents have two jobs.  One job is to bring children into this world.  The other job is to raise children.  In most cases, the same people do both of these jobs.  But, there are some cases where parents do only one of these jobs.  These parents are partners.  Antonia's birth mom and I are partner moms.  We are working together to create and raise a most special, beautiful girl. 

But what about the letter?

Charles asked me why I didn't include the body of his letter to Antonia.  I don't know, something called privacy.  It's her letter, I thought publishing it is her choice.  And his I suppose.  It is beautiful and deserves to be shared.  Screw privacy.  Here it is, abbreviated.

Antonia,

You are the most special girl in the whole world.  Sooo special that your Mommy traveled all the way around the world to find you.  But that's not what makes her best.  Your Mommy is best because she picked you.  She could have had any little girl, but she went and got you.  ... So, she's the best Mommy and you're the perfectest girl.  And if anyone says different, then you just let me know.

I love you

Charles

Work Love, Love Work

(download)

There was a shower for me at work yesterday.  It was quite a surprise.  I thought it was someone's birthday when I saw the cake.  But, the cake was to celebrate the coming of Antonia.  Very sweet (both the gesture and the cake).  Very, very surreal. 

I received this beautiful card from my coworkers.  It is filled with pictures and words of love, support, and humor.  A colleague made the cover.  It's perfect.  I am not sure my camera captured all of its beauty.  The propeller even moves.  I love how the earth also resembles a pregnant woman's belly.  My principal says this waiting time is my labor.  Daniel illustrated this moment so perfectly. 

I work in a place that will totally welcome Antonia.  In fact, I guess they already have!  While I always wanted to adopt, certain stars seemed to need to align to make it happen.  My school may have been one of those stars. 

Another Week of Waiting

It's been an interesting week in my world of waiting.

1.  I saw a travel doctor.  While at the office, I asked the nurse if she saw a lot of adoptive families.  She said that they used to, but there has been a big decline in the past few years.  She attributed this to the economy.  A recent New York Times article describes other factors (a link to this article is pasted at the end of this entry).  I am not sure if this means overall adoptions are down, or just international adoptions.  Either way, there are still many children around the world who are in need of families to raise them.

2.  I received a small grant from the Fatherless Foundation.  This is the second grant I have received.  Between these two grants, and the money my friend Jessica has been lovingly (and determinedly) raising, the next phase of payments will be significantly less.  While on the topic of Jessica, I got to watch her fundraiser grow significantly this past week.  The amount of love aimed at us via her speaks volumes of Jessica.  She is generous and well-loved.  I cannot wait to send Antonia off to the ballet with her in a few years. 

3.  Following notice of the grant, I received another email from my adoption agency.  It seems that the US Embassy is going to take more time investigating adoptions before granting visas.  While this is good overall, hopefully further reducing corrupt adoptions, it means it will take longer for children to enter the US.  Part of me thinks I received the grant to cover additional in-country expenses for my child.  I think the charge is $700.00 for every month in country.  Does this mean I am looking at waiting for several more months?  Aaaaagh.

4.  School has begun again.  Teaching restarted a while ago, now I am now back in class.  A new professor joined our program.  I am not sure how this will play out with my potentially missing a month of class.  My program director and other professor understand my circumstance and are willing to work with me.  The verdict is still out with him though.  As insane as my timing may seem to be, it kind of works for me.  Looking forward to a pay increase in two years makes more sense than ever.  Without the baby, I am not sure I would ever be inspired to leave the classroom because I love teaching so much.

5.  The baby received her first piece of mail.  It is sweet, a Valentine's Day card from my sister's family.  It shows my two little nephews holding hands.  My favorite part though is Antonia's name on the envelope.  And my sister's note to her.

The New York Times article:                                                                      http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/25/world/us-adoptions-from-abroad-decline-shar...