ninaadopts's Space http://ninaadopts.posterous.com Uncurated moments from one adoption story posterous.com Sat, 02 Feb 2013 06:26:00 -0800 Another Week of Waiting http://ninaadopts.posterous.com/174893146 http://ninaadopts.posterous.com/174893146

It's been an interesting week in my world of waiting.

1.  I saw a travel doctor.  While at the office, I asked the nurse if she saw a lot of adoptive families.  She said that they used to, but there has been a big decline in the past few years.  She attributed this to the economy.  A recent New York Times article describes other factors (a link to this article is pasted at the end of this entry).  I am not sure if this means overall adoptions are down, or just international adoptions.  Either way, there are still many children around the world who are in need of families to raise them.

2.  I received a small grant from the Fatherless Foundation.  This is the second grant I have received.  Between these two grants, and the money my friend Jessica has been lovingly (and determinedly) raising, the next phase of payments will be significantly less.  While on the topic of Jessica, I got to watch her fundraiser grow significantly this past week.  The amount of love aimed at us via her speaks volumes of Jessica.  She is generous and well-loved.  I cannot wait to send Antonia off to the ballet with her in a few years. 

3.  Following notice of the grant, I received another email from my adoption agency.  It seems that the US Embassy is going to take more time investigating adoptions before granting visas.  While this is good overall, hopefully further reducing corrupt adoptions, it means it will take longer for children to enter the US.  Part of me thinks I received the grant to cover additional in-country expenses for my child.  I think the charge is $700.00 for every month in country.  Does this mean I am looking at waiting for several more months?  Aaaaagh.

4.  School has begun again.  Teaching restarted a while ago, now I am now back in class.  A new professor joined our program.  I am not sure how this will play out with my potentially missing a month of class.  My program director and other professor understand my circumstance and are willing to work with me.  The verdict is still out with him though.  As insane as my timing may seem to be, it kind of works for me.  Looking forward to a pay increase in two years makes more sense than ever.  Without the baby, I am not sure I would ever be inspired to leave the classroom because I love teaching so much.

5.  The baby received her first piece of mail.  It is sweet, a Valentine's Day card from my sister's family.  It shows my two little nephews holding hands.  My favorite part though is Antonia's name on the envelope.  And my sister's note to her.

The New York Times article:                                                                      http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/25/world/us-adoptions-from-abroad-decline-shar...

 

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Sat, 29 Dec 2012 05:34:00 -0800 Why international adoption? http://ninaadopts.posterous.com/why-international-adoption http://ninaadopts.posterous.com/why-international-adoption

I am only three months into living publicly with my adoption.  This question, however, has been asked of me dozens of times.  Sometimes it is followed by, "There are so many American children who need homes."  Others ask, "Wouldn't it be less expensive to adopt domestically?"  I spent a year asking myself the same questions.  My answer varies, but the gist of it remains the same.

The way our children enter our lives is part of their stories.  A big part.  I made choices about building a family that make sense to me.  My daughter is coming to me through a process that I perceive as beautiful. In twelve years, when she wants to know specific information about our family's creation, I can relay the story with love and pride.  I can speak with some knowledge, and lots of love, about where she was born.  I can describe, with understanding and compassion, the sociopolitical circumstances of her birth nation at the time of her adoption.  I can tell animated stories about all of the extraordinary people who are making our family possible, the love for her expressed long before her arrival.  This is a story I can tell with pride and love.

Throughout this process I have given a lot of thought to the different ways people work to create families.  What I have come to believe is that we must parent children in a way that is comfortable for us.  We look for the path of least resistance.  However, these paths vary depending on who we are, our beliefs, and our circumstances.  For some families that means only biological children.  For others, it means children of shared ethnicity.  And some families embrace the idea of an ethnically varied home.  There are families that intentionally absorb the sick child.  There are other families that do all they can to avoid the sick child.  Financial security is something that plays different roles in different families.  Timing also impacts family building.  What is perceived as unmanageable or overwhelming is different for each of us.  The stakes are high when building a family.  We all make the best decisions we can.  The range of choices makes ours a more beautiful world.

I am adopting internationally because it makes sense for us.

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